"Caramel Coated Cardiac Machine"

With pizzas as huge as flying saucers
The Astrodome, my Caesar salad bowl
Bac-O's the size of square foot floor tiles
Beach ball big glazed yummy donut holes
Five gallon tubs of cake icing
cover oak log sized sweet jelly rolls
Pralines, churros, apple pies, sand tarts
Menu memories forever retold.

Every fried chicken I know should have 8 legs
and candy need only come in King size
I always buy in bulk from Sam's warehouse
Transfixed candy rack staring through twitched eyes
Holding records for "most pieces of gum chewed"
I blew bubble within a bubble within a bubble
Memorable microwaveable fruitpies with mellorine
Hooray, we're having Halloween candy for supper.

Sugar, not methedrine becomes devil's dust
and I become a greedy vacuum cleaner
The slitting of wrists for the insertion of sweet tarts
Oh, the heart finds the pure so much meaner
Riding white rails of locomotive sucrose
I'm found strangled to coma by candy beads
I writhe in jelly bean shaped fetal positions
To Hershey Pennsylvania I crawl on bleeding knees

Place chocolate chip cookies on my eyes
as I pass death's doorstep
String my cardboard cadaver shoes
with red licorice laces
Pray for me for safe passage to Candyland
My baseball bubble gum card pack
has yielded all aces.

-R. Turner 2000